A letter to...

To my ex bestie…

I hope you are well. & I want you to know, that I miss some of our memories. We had some fun, we had some fights, but the memories are true. Always caught up in the moment & laughing like nothing could stop us. I miss that & sometimes, I just miss us. It’s been almost 2 years since I cut you from my life, & some days it’s harder than others.

I do miss being able to text you everyday, when something makes me laugh, or I have a bad day & just want to see what you are up to. I miss our kids all being friends. Your laugh, some of the things you’d say, your voice. Some days I’d just love it have it all back.

I know I walked away for a reason. You were toxic for me. Extremely toxic. I had goals & dreams for the future, big ones. & you couldn’t plan for a few hours ahead. You held me back in many area’s of life. When I let go, I was free. I should’ve never let a friendship bring me down like that, & while we had some amazing memories, somehow, you weren’t the right best friend for me. & I sometimes find that hard to accept.

Yes I did so much more for you than you ever did for me. But, I was having fun, I had a girl-friend I could go out & do things with, someone who had some of the same interests as I did. & as much fun as I was having, I also came to the realization one day, that the fun being had was holding me back somehow. I let go, & it was a slingshot into something better.

I do wish we could have remained friends, talked here & there, just stayed connected. Whatever you are doing in life, I hope you are happy. I hope one day, you can be the person I know you can be. I wanted so badly to be the 1 person in your life who could build you up instead of tear you down, but you kept proving to want the toxic people in your life. I just couldn’t be there anymore, it was draining me & I have a family to tend to.

I hope you understand that I had to keep my life stable, & plant my roots deep for true happiness. Like the saying goes, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” & it’s true. My body went through some rough changes once I realized how bad the friendship was, & it was then I knew something had to change.

Toxic or not, sometimes, I just miss you. I still love you, & hope you are doing good.


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